july dating sim
press START!
welcome!
you are july, a young, talented artist and full-time pink haired cute boy. due to your cute nature, you have a vast array of similarly good-looking men waiting to date you. it will be hard, but it's time you make a choice.
you've narrowed it down to two boys you'd really, really like to spend some time with...
who are you going to date today?
great choice! you've picked jimmy, a hot 20 year old with a penchant for nintendo games who loves meeting cute boys. you're a big fan!
to catch his attention, you tweet him a piece of lovely artwork. he instantly likes and retweets - he's never seen a style so pretty! you're pleasantly surprised when he likes one of your old selfies - has jimmy been sneaking around your account? what a shameless boy.
after a while in silence, you get a notification:
Jimmy Whetzel followed you back!
you sit down and take a deep breath to calm yourself down. it was only a drawing! you didn't expect to get so far, so fast... but it's time for the action.
will you...
hi, jimmy! thanks for the follow :)
no problem, i love your art
i'm pretty sure i recognised you from my streams
shit, i got caught
i didn't expect to have such a gorgeous regular around lol
i'm flattered
i'm the one who's flattered, didn't think i deserved someone so pretty following me
didn't think i deserved someone so cute in my dms, so we're even
let's break the tie then lol
how?
come and meet me maybe
you're sounding like a straight boy with this flirting
even if i were straight
which i am thankfully not
i wouldn't be anymore with how gorgeous you are
okaaaay, you convinced me
i'm nowhere close to america though
we're just gonna have to meet somewhere in the middle
maybe brazil
i heard there's a really cool guy waiting to host us cause he really wants us to be together
alright awesome
wait how are we gonna pay for the flight
this guy really wants us to be together he'll pay for our tickets
cool
you arrive in brazil, a beautiful country full of hot women, which you don't care about because you're a flaming gay, but it's okay. you appreciate them. it's also 30ºC, and your frail finnish body is almost turning into ash. it's okay, though. it's fine.
jimmy is waiting for you at the hotel. you're escorted to your room by a hoard of about 20 really hot men in komaeda cosplays, because the anonymous guy who paid for this trip has kind of a problem.
"hey, july," a voice calls. after so many videos, you'd recognise that anywhere.
"jimmy!" you yell, running towards his arms. he meets you in the middle for a tight hug that leaves you with goosebumps despite the weather.
"how was your trip here?"
"pretty cool," you say, remembering the shirtless muscular men who fed you grapes during the flight. whoever had paid for the trip really loved spoiling you with cute boys.
"yeah, mine had a lot of hot guys, but i couldn't do anything to them. i was just thinking of how much i wanted to... see you."
you felt guilty for 0.5 second before remembering the feet massage you got on the plane.
when you look at him, jimmy is staring at your lips. this feels like a damn cliché romance scene, but your stomach flips over. he looks so fond.
you muster all your courage, lean in and kiss jimmy. he gasps in surprise, but returns it like he's been waiting to do this since he first saw your witty comments on his streams. jimmy kisses like a hummingbird, hesitantly dipping in and out in short bursts, cradling your face like he's afraid to lose you.
"i think i have a little bit of a crush on you," he says.
"thank god," you answer. "this would get really damn awkward if this wasn't returned."
thanks for playing!
you want to, but you can't bring yourself to just go and kiss him. maybe you're misreading the situation, and you feel so lucky to be here that you don't want to ruin everything by making it awkwa—
your train of thought is cut off by jimmy wrapping his arms around your waist and brushing his lips against yours, featherlight.
"hey," he whispers. you can feel the way his mouth moves and his hot breath mixing with yours.
"hey yourself," you say, closing your eyes before jimmy makes the move and kisses you.
thanks for playing!
hi there mr july
hey mr whetzel... thanks for the follow
i'm kinda surprised
lol i just knew you from my streams so i guess it just happened
when i saw you were a cute boy
i couldn't help it
i smashed that mf follow button
am i being hit on?
maybe
then make a move
fine
hey there talented boy
wanna hang out?
i think you forgot a small detail
we live in different countries
don't fret young prince
i have an anonymous sponsor who would like to fly us both to brazil so we can... meet
huh
you in?
absolutely
a spicy choice! danny is a tall, gorgeous 38 year old - you've always liked the older ones - who's ready to change your whole world.
you've known each other for a while, since he followed you after seeing the gorgeous art you post. you decide to text him to ask him out.
you just interrupted my furious masturbation session
sorry
no, july. i'm angry. i'm angry at you
is there anything i can do to help?
no. i'm furiously masturbating to 2017 pictures of the teletubbies sun. message me back in about 30 minutes
as if you can last 30 minutes
just fucking set fire to my self esteem
anyway
let's go out
bold move, july
where are you taking me?
no, this isn't the right answer. you know what you have to say. follow your damn heart.
you tell danny you want to take him to the stars with your great sex skills. he's immediately charmed. meet me at 10, he texts you, and your heart thrums against your ribcage louder than a damn construction site.
you go over to his house, a gigantic mansion with an underground sex dungeon. he's waiting for you at the door, where two enormous statues of arin drawing fucking mozart look down at you, like they're shaming you for being so willing to fervently make out with danny.
"so, what do you wanna do?" he asks, that velvety voice tugging at all the right strings in your dick heart.
you hesitate and think for a while before answering. "oh, i don't know, maybe..."
danny puts on a bootleg pirates of the caribbean movie and scoots over on the couch so you can join him. his arms are warm and safe wrapped around your waist.
danny moves one hand and starts caressing your hair, no longer paying attention to the shitty homemade production, but to you, the boy of his dreams, the only person who could successfully convince him to cover muse songs and record them for his next album.
you fall asleep just like that, blissful and in the arms of the man who makes you happier than anything.
when you wake up, danny is snoring beside you. it's not a pretty scene - his hair is all caught in his mouth and he's kind of drooling, but your heart feels all warm and tight anyway.
thanks for playing!
you and danny move to the nearest wall and start banging your heads against it, leaving bruises and bumps all over your forehead.
in the end, both of you need to go to the ER, at risk of some serious damage to your skull, because that was an obviously stupid and painful idea.
shame on you for thinking anything else would happen, you dirty, dirty fiend.